soup.

The Promise, Part 1

2006-05-07T01:29:00.000+10:00

In short : If ever a movie can be termed, 'Made in China', this is it : half the quality, double the money.
Compare
Title word count : Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - The Promise
Director : Zhang Yimou - Chen Kaige
Skinny Lead Actress : Zhang Ziyi - Cecilia Cheung (henceforth known as Zhang Ziyi Lite)
Lead Actor : Chow Yun Fatt - Some big-eyed korean dude
Weapon : Legendary Sword of Doom - Armour infitted with roses.
Villian : Scary Ass Bitch - Nicholas Tse in drag
You get my drift. COMPLETELY on crack but hilarious shit, honestly.

The long version :
Anyway, it's supposed to be one of those movies along the lines of Hero and Crouching Tiger. It reeks of emo, in the trailer, in the posters, in Nicholas Tse, in the token korean actor with big eyes. (Even if I was a bit apprehensive about the famous Hong Kong poker face Cecilia Cheung being the leading lady). And in the beginning it seems that way, and we're all gearing up for some vague chinese dialogue, flying hair and dramatic sword fighting, bad translations and great battle scenes...

and then we see the Cockroach.
and the Flying Chinese Chicken.
and LITTLE GIRL JESUS.
I cannot tell you the number of times I smacked my forehead at this movie.

So it starts out with a little girl wearing a freakish amount of scrap material prising an extremely clean bun from the hands of a dead soldier.
The camera zooms out slowly from a white bun. There was a great battle! Many lives were lost! the scene implies. And then it pans out and you see about .. 4 men.

In any case, what was the soldier thinking as he died with a bun in his hand instead of a weapon? FOOD FIGHT?

Then, for no apparent reason, the girl turns around and tugs off the boots of a random dead soldier hung on a tree branch.
And then the soldier wakes up.
AAHHHHHHHHHHH.
okay no. it's actually a little kid in armour with massive panda eyes. He grabs the bun from her and pushes her into a trap that hangs her upside down. Her dress doesn't tumble over her head and earn the movie an icky 18-SX rating because this is a fantasy movie and gravity doesn't apply (see : Crouching Tiger, hidden Dragon, Hero, Kungfu Hustle).
The little bits of brown scrap material do however, hang down and make her look a little like a pinecone.

then the boy spouts some banter about 'my father is dead so all these dead soldiers are mine, and those boots are mine, and i'm not dead so that bun is mine and you are by default, mine, because the bun is mine and YOU ARE HOLDING THE BUN.'
The kid really needs to get some sleep.

anyway so the girl whiles her way out of it by promising to be his slave. then the boy lets her down and she's all like oh what a pretty helmet (clues you in to his personality a bit later). so the boy is like, oh really? you like it? and takes it off to give to her. then she whacks him on the head with it and runs away.
i told you he needed more sleep.

for some reason the little girl does not want to eat her conquered bun and is sitting on a log partly submerged in a lake.

I want that bun, little girl

i don't know how the girl got there, because it's a log in a lake... annd.. that's it.
a goddess pops up from the water and asks her to make a choice between beauty, wealth and adoration and LOVE. TRUE LOVE.
the girl chooses beauty, wealth and adoration.
what a typical hong kong girl.
anyway this immediately takes effect and the little girl, apparently, is now JESUS H. CHRIST. she walks on water into a yellow light.

fast forward five minutes later and a general is directing his 2000 men against ~~10,000 orcs~~ some people in black armour whose favourite word is 'RAAARRRR'.

also, a gazillion cows.
I kid you not.

anyway, all the general's men are wearing, bright, only found in china, crimson red. They have lotuses on their shields. Everyone is very clean. The general himself has actual roses in his armour plate and some crazy gold headgear.
China meets its first metrosexual.

The next 40 minutes means well as an introduction to the lead character, but it's so.. so.... mind.. numbing.. and.....anyway it involves cows.
Basically the black army has sent the cows at the red army WITHOUT CHECKING IF THEY'RE ACTUALLY THERE. In the same convenient logic, the general thinks that if the cows squash some extras, ANY extras, the black army will be convinced they've destroyed his army even though they're standing on the top of the cliff with their BRIGHT ASS CRIMSON COSTUMES.

Line up.

I know you don't understand, but I DONT EITHER.
So 51 slaves are sent out to stand against the stampeding cows.

The climax is when the only surviving slave, kunlun (the korean dude), crawls on his hands and knees and overtakes the stampeding cows, saves his slave master (who then proceeds to die) and then crawl-run along a steep cliff face.
That looks familiar, I've seen that effect before; in SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (which is, by the way, a great game if only i won).

No one in the black army notices that the canyon is shaped like a 'U', so the cows just run straight into them again. Unfortunately, none of them can run along a cliff face, so they're screwed. Anyway, we're all very bored at this point because we were gearing for the graceful dismemberment of several dozen chinese extras with a legendary sword or something but all we're getting is really bad CGI.

But lo and behold! the general DOES do something! he's riding out into the black army and swings his horny plasticky gold mace flattening everyone in a perfect circle!

Again, where have I seen this move before?

Dynasty Warriors 5
Oh.

The irony is that Dynasty Warriors 5 probably has better CGI.

From this point on, the best part of this movie is Nicholas Tse. I never thought i'd ever say what i just said, but it's true.

After the battle, the general receives a message that the emperor is being held on a rooftop by the Duke of the North, henceforth known as Nicholas Tse because it's a long ass title to type. he sends kunlun wearing his very cool armour to the palace instead.

Anyway, kunlun then kills the emperor.
apparently, he didn't get the part the general was going on about 'save the emperor from the duke of the north'
he saves cecilia cheung instead, who falls from the roof like a whale in the air into his arms.
it is unclear whether he believed cecilia cheung was the emperor and the emperor was cecilia cheung.
We don't know why they're on the rooftop either.

But that REALLY doesn't matter because : BEHOLD NICHOLAS TSE.

So now you know where half of the 35 million dollar budget went.

You know what a pointer is outside a computer screen no?
Chen Kaige takes the interpretation literally. THIS is nicholas tse's main weapon.

I call this look 'The Very Wise Owl'

At one point, Zhang Ziyi Lite and the ~~eunuch~~ Emperor squabble on the rooftop. ZZ Lite offers to take her clothes off for the entire army to get off.
Nicholas Tse responds :

HAHAHAHA.

And this. the 'Very, very gay outfit'. Nicholas is very incensed about something, so his pointer is clenched into a passionate fist.

Watch his pointer stick when he destroys the Kryptonites. He's trying to be intimidating while wearing what is clearly fake chest hair.

I love it, it's hilarious. Nicholas actually POKES someone in the head with it in heated battle.
After he defeats the snake guy, his army marches out of the shadows and they all lower their pointer sticks accusingly at him, like spears.
also, death through accusation. hee hee.

And, just for fun :

The blatant cockroach.

Kunlun and cecilia run for it. Nicholas chases kunlun and cecilia onto a cliff. his 6 generals do some impressive kung fu leaps and form!
....a human armchair for nicholas tse.
there is a lot of crack going on in this movie.

some banter, kunlun jumps off the cliff. i don't blame him, I would too if I had Zhang Ziyi Lite as a love interest AND nicholas tse in silver lipstick.
nicholas captures cecilia and puts her into a giant gold bird cage and provides a coat made of feathers.
the symbolism in this movie is subtle.

anyway, a coat of feathers is not as nice as it sounds. Think 19 white chickens steamrolled over and over again. Cecilia looks like a less happy KFC mascot.

Kunlun rescues Cecilia under some ridiculous circumstances and then decides to show his love by...

flying her like a kite.

yea. no, really.

we eventually find out Kunlun is the only survivor of the Land of Snow where its citizens run around like Road Runners, have superhuman strength and also, fly.
Wait, Land of Snow? Don't you mean KRYPTON, Kal-el?

TO BE CONTINUED...

IT MAKES SENSE, YOU KNOW IT DOES

2006-05-06T23:08:00.000+10:00

kat's running for president. all our wildest nightmares in one video :D

Anyway, i just realised something about her campaign:
she only has four supporters.

but if you're reading, katsy, don't worry, you have the scary arabic music and a star wars scroll up on your side! if I could rig the election, i would, because it would be HIGHLY entertaining to watch kat's opponents catch on fire during her victory speech.

and you know we'll get video.

so, my flowers : VOTE KAT. IT MAKES SENSE YOU KNOW IT DOES.
(official campaign blog here.)

boo.

2006-03-08T16:41:00.000+11:00

i've decided to unleash the Dreaded Backlog of Unfinished, Never Posted Posts. Of course the first one had to be a meme :)

7
THE ENTHUSIAST
Enneagram Type Seven

The Busy, Fun-Loving Type:
Spontaneous, Versatile, Acquisitive, and Scattered
(ck : you're not spontaneous
me : WHAT? i know i dont exactly have ADHD...
ck : you're spontaneous only when you want someone to belanja you.)

Basic Fear: Of being deprived and in pain (isn't that NORMAL?)
Basic Desire: To be satisfied and content — to have their needs fulfilled (see above)

Healthy: Highly responsive, excitable, enthusiastic about sensation and experience. Most extroverted type: stimuli bring immediate responses — they find everything invigorating. Lively, vivacious, eager, spontaneous, resilient, cheerful. / Easily become accomplished achievers, generalists who do many different things well: multi-talented. Practical, productive, usually prolific, cross-fertilizing areas of interest. At Their Best: Assimilate experiences in depth, making them deeply grateful and appreciative for what they have. Become awed by the simple wonders of life: joyous and ecstatic. Intimations of spiritual reality, of the boundless goodness of life.
(the short version : you're on a steady supply of crack.)

Average: As restlessness increases, want to have more options and choices available to them. Become adventurous and "worldly wise," but less focused, constantly seeking new things and experiences: the sophisticate, connoisseur, and consumer. Money, variety, keeping up with the latest trends important. / Unable to discriminate what they really need, become hyperactive, unable to say "no" to themselves, throwing self into constant activity. Uninhibited, doing and saying whatever comes to mind: storytelling, flamboyant exaggerations, witty wise-cracking, performing. Fear being bored: in perpetual motion, but do too many things — many ideas but little follow through. / Get into conspicuous consumption and all forms of excess. Self-centered, materialistic, and greedy, never feeling that they have enough. Demanding and pushy, yet unsatisfied and jaded. Addictive, hardened, and insensitive.

Unhealthy: Desperate to quell their anxieties, can be impulsive and infantile: do not know when to stop. Addictions and excess take their toll: debauched, depraved, dissipated escapists, offensive and abusive. / In flight from self, acting out impulses rather than dealing with anxiety or frustrations: go out of control, into erratic mood swings, and compulsive actions (manias). / Finally, their energy and health is completely spent: become claustrophobic and panic-stricken. Often give up on themselves and life: deep depression and despair, self-destructive overdoses, impulsive suicide. Generally corresponds to the Manic-Depressive and Histrionic personality disorders.

Key Motivations: Want to maintain their freedom and happiness, to avoid missing out on worthwhile experiences, to keep themselves excited and occupied, to avoid and discharge pain.

Examples: John F. Kennedy, Benjamin Franklin, Leonard Bernstein, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Elizabeth Taylor, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Steven Spielberg, Federico Fellini, Richard Feynman, Timothy Leary, Robin Williams, Jim Carey, Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Bette Midler, Chuck Berry, Elton John, Mick Jagger, Gianni Versace, Liza Minelli, Joan Collins, Malcolm Forbes, Noel Coward, Sarah Ferguson, Larry King, Joan Rivers, Regis Philbin, Howard Stern, John Belushi, and "Auntie Mame" (Mame).

I'm in the company of giants. GIANTS. except maybe mozart, i think he was quite short.

the public demands

2006-01-26T20:44:00.000+11:00

fip wrote a song for in.

in needs to sooo defend her 'wantan' status with a song off.

it's too bad i don't play an instrument.

Birthday 22

2006-01-18T18:22:00.000+11:00

happy birthday our ck bitch! you are staggeringly old today >:)

2006-01-01T06:30:00.000+11:00

it is 3.33 pm into january 1st. happy new year darlings. remember! someone will still love you in the morning!

good night :)

yoohoo.

2005-12-27T16:45:00.000+11:00

a belated merry christmas and an early happy new year!

now remember my barbeque on the 30th december bitches.
email le_funkiestcow AT hotmail.com for the address and other transportation details if i haven't sent it out to you already.

danke.

also, yes, this blog is really quite dead. but useful for things like long ass reviews.
anyway.
i update more sporadically with stupid things at hurrylove.blogspot.com (which is a joint project between kat and i we never did anything with. note, the picture essay starts from the BOTTOM. fucking picasa) or livejournal.com/~soimtall.

2005-12-09T19:52:00.000+11:00

Time for flying.

2005-12-09T19:51:00.001+11:00

2005-12-09T19:51:00.000+11:00

2005-12-09T19:49:00.000+11:00

It was a beautiful day in London.

Long. LOONNNG.

2005-12-05T18:48:00.000+11:00

first off, some messages :

to iki, my he-bitch : where are those photos? I WANT THOSE PHOTOS.

to eva, queen of the civilised world and my personal poodle puff : where are those photos? I WANT THOSE TOO.

to stick, who requires no title : i don't know either!

to fip, heavier by 2 kilograms : weeeiiii. when do i get to treat you back with bad dessert?

to soup., useful when i'm bored : ... i love you. but i'm not bored enough just yet.

to mike newell, who tried his best : i know book 4 compounded with daniel radcliffe is a collosal task (and i admire the work you've done with titanium cheeks radcliffe), but really, even if i am watching it at 1 am the pace shouldn't resemble dying person's heart monitor.

to the hp4 movie editor : you need a good sporking in your unmentionables.

to emma watson, who makes entirely too much use of her nostrils : you are either a grand case for the youngest case of menopause EVER or you really need to lay off the steroids. om, watson, om.

i should never go for midnight movies since i can't stay awake.

my dear parvati-at-the-stairs : you cannot influence my opinion with suggestive notions that emma looks beautiful. what she really looks like is a fucking wedding cake. that is all.

the other triwizard cup contenders : the french chick is a COLD FISH. COLD FISSSSSSSHHHHHHH. i don't remember the others since I barely remember the book, but the cedric fella is not bad looking.

and then they kill him.
mahai.

poor draco : the ferret had more screen time than tom felton.
also, i take it back. voldemort does not look like aquaman, he looks like a sardine.

Anyway, rundown of Aeon Flux, since I watched it the day before.

Aoen Flux - is BRAIN MELTING. Here's some reasons why :
1. yes, charlize stalks around leaving little to the imagination

2. yes, charlize is in leather a lot.

3. yes, charlize does a LOT of splits.

4. yes, when charlize does splits, the camera is almost always facing up.

5. if that's your thing : yes, her skin texture is liked plucked chicken.
(you must hang around wet markets a lot.)

6. everytime i start to think 'wait, but that doesn't make sense because-' my brain (snappily) follows up with a 'Dude, it's an MTV production. also, charlize theron in sparkly underwear'

7. the keeper. the giant kentang goreng. watch the show, you'll see what i mean.

8. Charlize is amazingly strong. Behold the power of EM TEE VEE!

9. I figure Charlize is not allowed to walk sideways unsexily or something to keep the fanboys happily focused on her boobs. I'm not 100% on this, but i THINK when she needs to turn, she keeps on foot still and sort of walks in a circle around it with her other foot.

10. Her chin is glued to her neck and her face is ALWAYS at a 45 degree side profile. I tried the same posture walking to Coffeebean after the movie and I was walking like a crab.

11. Her choice of outfits, i mean, besides the reasons chronicled in 1-5, are just BRAIN MELTING. In the opening sequence she's wearing some vulture bondage outfit in order to BLEND IN. Later she's attacking building in the dark and she's wearing blinding, glow-in-the-dark, COLGATE white.

12. Aeon Flux can float. Check out the sequence where she's climbing into the goldfish blimp. Don't ask me how she's suddenly at the opening, looking like she's STANDING with a giant gaping hole underneath her.
In other news, her favourite escape move is to crawl like a cockroach.

13. The biggest, most unexplicable mystery of the movie is how Trevor got that suit off her.

14. Oren. hee hee. I can't stop my brain from automatically reading in Malay.

15. Let's be realistic. What soldier wouldn't take the chance to thoroughly examine Aeon. How could they possibly let her get away with the high heels.

16. the disease has apparently wiped out the entire continent of asia. except maybe for that one korean looking guy, who may or may not be hispanic.

17. the future is flux?

Verdict : Buy the pirated cd because the fight sequences really suck. Charlize has a really nice haircut. Also, if you like motorola commercials (:D IKI), you'll like the set design.

Chicken Little
Cute. But okayonlyla.

2005-11-23T20:53:00.000+11:00

GOD I AM SO OUT OF TOUCH WITH EVERYONE.
fucking lack of internet.

in any case.

BARBEQUE AT MY NEW PLACE ON DEC 30th
let me know if you can come. it's a friday night. if you don't know the place, leave your email address and ill get back to you.

2005-11-22T15:37:00.000+11:00

yea, i miss you too.

commercialism

2005-11-11T21:43:00.000+11:00

So my dad scoops out a small egg out of his Kuey Teow and plonks it on a plate.

'Do you know what this is?'
.........Oh god. you're going senile. at FIFTY.
'What is it?'
an.. EGG.
'No :)'
a small egg?
'No :)'
Quail egg?
'No :)'
Tan?
'Nolah. Only crazy people give the same answer expecting different results. Do you know what this is?'
Okay, okay what?

He stabs one chopstick into the fat part of the egg white.

'This is Chicken Little'
munch munch munch.

Also, does no one else think it's incredibly cruel that MCDONALD'S sponsors the chicken little movie?

and randomly

2005-11-07T21:15:00.000+11:00

the asian backstreet boys

linked because the guy on the left really does have the facial qualities of kermit the frog.

i also love how there's a guy in the background playing some racing game with a huge 'WTF!?' bubble over his head.

photo update

2005-11-05T19:14:00.000+11:00

the REST of the barbie pics up at flickr.
damn them and their monthly quota. it's too bad im too lazy to resize :D

(slideshow link here for easy viewing. as always, click on photo, then move your mouse to the top of the black box to toggle to view pic and commentary)

note

2005-11-05T16:00:00.000+11:00

i am like, ridiculously inaccessible because i just moved to a new place and damn, living without the phoneline or internet is like living in 1992 again. so i will be a little sparse, and not by choice dammit, because i have stuff to say and things to post.

also, if i don't have access to the internet tommorow, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATSY POOOOOOOOOOOO. last but not least :D

2005-10-30T05:33:00.000+11:00

Also, Frankfurt, also known as the Euro and the Pound. Coming soon. There really aren't a lot of pictures.

2005-10-30T05:19:00.000+11:00

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck

FFFFUCCCCCCKKK

im literally banging my head against the table.
(they say it burns up 150 calories)

fuck.

also i have nothing intelligent to say. not that i have had anything intelligent to say for the past 8 months, but hey.
if i could go back in time i'd thrash the living daylights out of my procrastinating former self. man. MAN.

fuck.

errrr. ck. i dont suppose i could postpone on that monday? potentially? ^_^;; i'm sure i should be done by then, but last minuting it couldnt hurt no? otherwise we can operate on a 'im only free after 3' basis.

warm

2005-10-27T01:09:00.000+10:00

T : it's fantastic isn't it? these kids multitasking with their ipods and their gameboy thingamajiggies.
Dad : *snorts* all these young kids walk around these days with 2000 dollars worth of tech gadgets hanging off them. what did we have when we were kids?
(pause as gentlemen sip their lemonade)
Me : i don't have an ipod :(
T : you're not serious!?
Me : i'm serious :(
T : My god. You could sue your father for that! That's against European Union basic human rights!
Dad : oi.

i love the brits :D
i sort of have some things i want to blog about, but first i need to remember them :/ my brain is dying on me.

anyway yes so now i can say hello to everyone properly. who wants to go out for lunch before the black hole of my father's workplace sucks me in?

2005-10-16T14:45:00.000+10:00

im off until the end of the month :) i'll see you all then.

(CK : I WANT THAT BOOK)

P.S. The bitch is also 21 :D Happy birthday my in.

2005-10-15T17:59:00.000+10:00

alive. but had a hellish experience from 6 pm until take off. I'm beginning to think my new jumper is jinxed. I knew pink was a bad idea.

hello all! it's warm. and I still have one more assignment to do fuck it all.

move over nano

2005-10-13T09:57:00.000+10:00

oh video ipod. my new love.

damn these apple people.

2005-10-09T10:47:00.000+10:00

was downloading movies off dc++ (WHY GEEG WHY!?) when I caught this in the main chat :

- [09:29:37] "They say that when you play a Microsoft CD backwards you can hear demonic voices...
- But that's nothing - When you play it forwards it installs Windows."

It's not original, but it is amusing :D
If anyone wants to donate coffee powder within the next 2 hours i will be one grateful need-caffeine-for-assignments enthusiast.

2005-10-08T00:23:00.000+10:00

some photos up at flickr. and the reason why everything's not up is because those bastards give us 20mb per month and expect us to be happy with it. HAVE YOU HEARD OF 8.0 MEGAPIXELS!?
Anyway, will post the rest next month when I get more quota. Or fotopage them. uh. later. BBQ pics mostly courtesy of meng's camera.

tip : if you view it as a slideshow it will save you a LOT of time, rather than you having to click every one of them to view commentary. Click on any picture that shows up and it will display both picture and commentary. Then, to toggle, move your mouse near the top of the black box and click the arrow buttons. Tadah, pictures and commentary in a classy black box.
Also I'm rather incoherent. You'll forgive me. At the time I wrote them my brain was oozing out my ears. Also explains the cranky.

the SMS bible

2005-10-06T21:30:00.000+10:00

In da Bginnin God cre8d da heavens & da earth. Da earth waz barren, wit no 4m of life; it waz unda a roaring ocean cuvred wit dRkness. (Genesis, chapter 1, verses 1-2).

4giv thm fathr dey noe not wat dey do.

I want to hunt down the people that actually translated it, not because of what they did, this is terribly funny to me, but really, HOW CAN YOU FUCK UP THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE THAT BADLY? they CANNOT be allowed to procreate.

*hives*

why voldemort...

2005-10-05T16:26:00.000+10:00

"Dan's very good," he said, "working with him was wonderful. Poor guy, he had to be so patient. I had to do all this waffling and talking about how I'm the Master of the Universe and how I'm evil and I'm going to kill him and he has to stand there all tied up, writhing around and groaning with pain while I'm monologuing towards him.

you dirty, dirty man.
(from here)

also, remember daniel radcliffe trying to cry in the last movie? this movie is going to be HILARIOUS if that's what danny boy is about to do.

Recording Audio

2005-10-03T14:42:00.000+10:00

i am recording audio for my book and i am DYING HERE. DYING. ARGH. THE FAIRY IS NOT SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE SHE'S GOING TO SEDUCE GRADE 5 KIDS.

Also, i am shitting myself laughing. I hate the sound of my own voice, so I'm trying so hard not to be nasal. Now Sang Kancil sounds like a fucking British nanny.

eh.
Take two : LONG LIVE THE POMS!

two one

2005-10-02T23:57:00.000+10:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUNE!

I'll join you soon :(

Om.

2005-10-02T17:42:00.000+10:00

Chris' neighbours are doing a weird ass form of yoga I have never seen before.

You need :
1. A concrete floor. Preferably parking lot. Cars not included, but there are 14 of them anyway.
2. Hot, blazing sun.
3. a Pink Singlet (capitalised because 55% of the human population voted it next in line to God)
4. Two white Aussies. One of them needs to be topless.
5. An opening in your curtain for me to spy on the nice male torso.
6. A red car with a filthy exhaust.

Here's what you do :

1. If you are female, lie on your back with your arms outstretched on the concrete floor.
2. If you are male, take off your shirt, and sit on it.
3. Then roll under the car. Yes. Under the car.
4. Repeat.
5. Repeat.
6. Repeat.

After that I just decided pink was synonymous with batshit crazy and stopped looking. Also nice torso stood up and I got his side profile and not his back muscles anymore. So.

ANEEWAY.
We had a barbie on friday, which we changed last minute from saturday, which i now regret because saturday was just beautiful beautiful weather. God mocks me. It was still fun though, we abused seagulls by pelting them with ice cubes and what not. More detail later once I get pictures and jog my memory. MENG I WANT PICTURES.

Assignments are not getting done. My will to live is exponentially related to the amount of intelligent discussion I crap out. At the moment I'm at 0.

Later then.

strike

2005-09-28T21:33:00.000+10:00

I've finally got some sun yesterday. Also yea, in always looks like that when she's with me. ~~I have that sort of effect on people :)~~ I am sucking the life out of her.

Meme time

2005-09-23T14:52:00.000+10:00

Haven't done one of these in a while. This one isn't too bad actually.

Your Birthdate: October 16

Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone.
You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent.
You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate.

You are introspective and a little stubborn.
Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family.
This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations.

The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you.
Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach.
You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions.
Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Want

2005-09-20T23:42:00.000+10:00

in the name of all that is merciful, please stop playing the ipod nano ads. Everytime it comes on, I suddenly blank out and then when I wake up again I find myself kneeling in front of the tv clawing at the screen.

This is not fair :(

I swear, if in gets one i will eat her with a rusty knife.

2005-09-20T02:07:00.000+10:00

some photos from, well, this semester. that's how little i've been out :(.

i'm sorry i'm incoherent

2005-09-18T22:01:00.000+10:00

meng never calls us :(

went to the royal melbourne show today (and i PAID to get in this time. why do you not reply to my email bob? why?) dead tired. my legs on the other hand? just plain dead.

have pictures. will post. tommorow. maybe.

good night.

2005-09-17T16:49:00.000+10:00

okay.

could you just pay attention now?

meme

2005-09-02T23:01:00.000+10:00

Tagged by Kat. who stood over me with the msn equivalent of a hot poker (but GEEEGGG. I LOVE PHONEDRIBBLE). WHO SAYS THEY LOVE PHONEDRIBBLE!? EVER? not me that's for sure.

-_- wench. i already said i'd do it.

20 years ago, 1985:-

I was (and still am dammit) a grumpy baby who didn't like company and trashed anything with zippers. I got measles the day of my first birthday. And this was a day AFTER I HAD MY MEASLES SHOT. My hair grew in 90 degree angles and I was never without this pink lacey thing that tied it all together like a bunch of bamboo poles. I suppose there was no other way to style porcupine hair. We lived with my grandparents and a couple of the offspring's families. I don't remember any of it. Apparently there were cuteness competitions between me and my cousin brother (older by 3 months). GUESS WHO WON, GENIUS. My mum was and still is much better looking then my aunt though :)

Also the era of 'every snap of the girl needs to be a butt-naked baby picture for future blackmail'. But I got her back. My mother tells me she had to coax me for hours before I would mug a smile for the camera. Take that, Ma. That's what you get for blowing THAT picture up and hanging it in my bedroom where all my friends can see it :(

Weirdly enough, like kat, I was meant to go for some snip-snip tongue operation because it was stuck to the bottom of my mouth. I have NO idea how they figured girlie's got her tongue stuck to the bottom of her mouth at age 1 since, well, I don't babble much (therein lies the irony of this long ass entry) but they did. Anyway, on the final consultation before surgery, my mum took one last look at me. I was as usual, glaring grumpily. And she decided she didn't have the heart to put me through the operation (cue father heaving a huge sigh of relief).
Several possibilities can be gleaned from this observation
a) she was afraid i would never stop talking/complaining should the tongue vice be removed.
b) she felt bad
c) but lisping is so cute

Anyway, yes, I do talk normally. The content of what I say remains to be contested, but the point is I'm meant to have a lishp. I like defying doctors :)

And my mum is happy because she saved a shitload on some operation I didn't really need.

10 years ago, 1995

I remember... pretty much nothing :P honestly. I remember the year after, but not this one. SO!

9 years ago, 1996
I remember backstreet boys. Don't look at me that way, I was 12 and everyone had carter attached to their names. I wasn't exactly miss popular so I got stuck with (howie) dorough. Also, the cd was a gift.
Others : UPSR? and losing my ribenaberry shaped bottle at the school we took the exam in.
I made possibly my first good friend and I haven't stopped bullying her soft heart since. For obligatory purposes, also the year I met Kat (who is also a good friend, just not then). I loved my classroom because we had to use a cabin instead of an actual classroom. The school building was still under construction (CLASSIC sri inai). Parents complained their children were studying in containers :D. The school food took a turn for the worse (sob). I met in by not minding my own business. I pointed out the work she was working on so diligently was completely wrong. In still holds it against me (what? It was public service :(). Anyway I don't remember how, but we became very fast friends. Kat arrived, HAHA, with her nose turned up in the air. But not for the reasons you'd think I suppose. For most of the year she was this insecure but pretentious little snot taking advantage of my stupid naivete. It just seemed that everything I said she wanted to disprove just because she could and I let her. But then again, I was also a pretentious little snot with few social skills. But damn if she wasn't funny. as well as wildly imaginative (you think I forgot the story of the stupidly lucky american hockey goalkeeper eh?). I don't know why we bonded, but we did, if in little spurts. We had a LOT of issues with each other heh. Anyway, Kat's still an insecure, pretentious little snot (but more grown-up now). I love her to death for it. In is still the naive, soft-hearted little girl (although now with much ruder vocabulary) I met 9 years ago, the difference now is that I actually like the drama. go figure.

5 years ago, 2000

I wore glasses and had a ridiculously stupid hairstyle that showed off my flattened head. SPM, lethargy, a great group of friends. A lot of anxiety about dreams and jobs and insisting we wouldn't grow up but also pledging to be godmothers to each other's children. Also bumped into childhood acquaintances in tuition centres and had a bitter laugh session at their situations now. I assume they're doing the same for me minus the bitterness.

I sat around stick, eva and sin nee. Stick was OBSESSED with the calculator. seriously. anything we chatted about that involved numbers and he would indulge in mathematical masturbation on his half broken beeping calculator. he had two equally broken spare calculators in his bag he would ocassionally lend to me and then the class would be filled with this odd orchestra of insanely annoying beeping sounds. Anyway, just by sitting within the vicinity of the maths genius behind me and her disciple next to me, I pulled my add maths grade up from a 33/100 to an A1. rah.

this is nerdy. I'm not arguing. I can't believe maths is my most vivid memory.

3 years ago, 2003

popped over to australia after a rather unnecessary catered barbeque thing where nothing was actually barbequed. melbourne that year had EXCRUCIATINGLY bad weather. aussies drink a lot and never answer your questions directly. Mandatory interaction with people 3 feet tall. Was scared shitless of them. Now I'm changing their shit. god.

I had a great time in the holidays though. Potlucks, durian tasting meatballs, barbeques, new year 4am pizzas and hypothetical college life communions. Also I spat juice on kat's friends.

Last year, 2004
Straightened my hair for the first time in my life. Everyone laughs at me and says I look like Madonna in her 'Nothing really matters' video. And also, ju-on. Is there a difference? Anyway, suddenly I can walk through the door without needing to tug my hair through after me. In australia, better weather. But I'm really, really sick of this town.

visited hongkong, shanghai (and am both impressed and smug). family trip to new zealand (which is beautiful) where as usual we have to make do with this fucking constant bad chinese food and overcooked fish. goddamn tours. the unqualified tour guide was drunk, looked at me, cupped his chest and said THIS GIRL HAS BIG BOOBIES! yea and you don't have a chance in hell of getting near them.
I feel better when I know he is the victim of one sided love, bald, and spends his days selling distilled water filters with a bright hawaiian tshirt.
(for the record, i'm okay, but nowhere near as impressive as fip's other half :P)

Next Year.
PANIC
ha. well i don't know yet. i want to do honours, get a PR, dye my hair some colour that will actually show without needing me to stand directly underneath a spotlight. i want to celebrate birthdays and meet up with friends. all of them. i do not look forward to my 'You're 21 now! (insert cliched list of adult obligations and character'. and the ocassional 'SO WHEN YOU GETTING MARRIED HEHE?' mother...
and yea well, ive always liked visiting japan :)

10 years from now, 2015
I've said this a million times :
rich :)
i've sort of resolved myself to the man of kat's dream. as long as I get my moolah, and he has a soft spot for me, all is well. I really want a golden retriever. and to be both a parent and someone's godparent. my father predicts they will be hellions. since i forget what punishments i give out regularly, and my parents regularly grin evilly and state they will spoil their grandkids rotten, im not surprised. i want to annoy my godchildren and make them hate visiting me but grudgingly like me anyway. i give generous birthday presents, but to the wrong kids, and they silently swap among themselves muttering about their idiot godmother. and then on their 21st birthday i want to annoy the shit out of them somemore by pestering them about marriage.

i want to be blissfully, blissfully absent minded. with company :)

hooli, pea, chiru, fip, lune. you are tagged. have fun :)
well actually if anyone else wants to have a go at it, be my guest :)

the internet doesn't smell

2005-08-31T21:47:00.000+10:00

precursor : don't read this if you're eating. I mean it.

why look, it's childhood education time! anyway, i thought i'd update you people on my week.

HOLD YOUR BREATH
1. there is nothing romantic about changing diapers. i think the most effective way of curing pedophilia is to get them to change hundreds upon hundreds of diarrhoea diapers. in addition :
a. they come in all sorts of colours. i'm not talking about diapers.
ai. medicine also changes colour and texture, like food dye. e.g. antibiotics = ghee, cold medicine...well. i won't elaborate.
b. sometimes it's still work in progress while you're changing them.
c. babies... REALLY don't care that they're literally sitting in their own shit.
ci. actually, most of them care even less about peeing on you.
d. this little girl had diarrhoea (APPARENTLY). there was nothing in her diaper, because most of the poo somehow ended up only on her back. how? who knows. maybe her anus went on holiday.
e. one of the workers there was checking the kid's diaper for obvious reasons. so she just held the back of the diaper band and pulled outwards. but when her fingers came out again, let's just say it wasn't dry.

MUNCH
1. there is something inherently hilarious about a toddler falling asleep into her food while having lunch. i know the shepherd's pie was bland, but not that bland.

2. babies and toddlers eat EVERYTHING. lizards, coins, computers, calculators, lemons, tissues, paint, hair, chalk, plastic cockroaches (i don't understand either), crayons, blocks, markers with the cap off. without flinching. but they won't eat celery.

3. infant vomit doesn't smell. thank god.

4. you always know EXACTLY what kid was sitting where because of the pattern of the food they dropped around the chair. also, generally, the kid's also walking around with pasta in his hair and watermelon on her neck.

but in the end : yea, they're still damned cute. you can't argue with the pudgy, no knuckle hands.

look! small, pudgy no-knuckle hands! awwwww.

fantastic four

2005-08-28T18:47:00.000+10:00

anyway, i wasn't doing my assignment, i was watching the adventures of sue ribut, si fantastic, batu besar berjalan and budak berapi as they fight encik doctor von DOOM.
with mr. anonymous coughing pirated vcd seller man. who desperately needs to either oil the chair he is sitting on (creaky creaky) or learn to sit still. i hear lemon honey tea helps with the throat.
also, don't you LOVE subtitles? i know i do.
(the other great love in my life is also to completely forget how to use malay grammar)

does anyone else find it ironic that the eye candy for this movie is also the INVISIBLE WOMAN?
or that the thing has only FOUR FINGERS? like mickey mouse? homer simpson? tom cruise?
well okay. that's not ironic. it's merely true.
but i mean, i can understand cartoon characters having four fingers, but a live adaptation? sure, jessica alba's hotness level would go down in massive amounts missing a thumb, and the hotness level of the thing is non-existent, but STILL. i demand the extra finger. it's about teaching kids to count.

it is not a good idea to try to down 1 cup of cooked rice. in one go. i feel almost pregnant (while the Living Okonomiyaki in my esophagus battles for his share of the food supply).

i feel completely scattered. how bout yous?

2005-08-27T16:17:00.000+10:00

i finished book six.
in the toilet.

>:)

2005-08-25T17:11:00.000+10:00

i smell like :

1. wet wipes
2. strawberry yoghurt vomit (it does smell like strawberry still)
3. drool
4. dry snot
5. wet snot
6. gloves
7. diapers
8. pee

ah essence la enfant.
(excuse my quasi french? italian? foreign-ch?)
i like my babies dry.
this smelling like children on the train thing is not very attractive.

oh bugger

2005-08-19T19:03:00.000+10:00

(i knew i was supposed to do something..)

a little late in the day, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY IKI!!!
we're now officially the same age.

feel the grey.

2005-08-17T22:32:00.000+10:00

'shawni!'

yea

'guess what?'

shush luke. what?

'gee gee did her first poo today!'

i : that sounds.. really wrong.

'i know! but you're all grown-up now! you did your first poo! nice clean one it was too!'

*twitch*

beng

2005-08-16T14:25:00.000+10:00

oh sweet god. beng-ify me.

snippet
note to self : do not order kebab on a date. limpeh mean. it's ridiculous the amount of STUFF that falls out the bottom. espeshurly if your chicken bits resemble turds. it was damn power stuff though.

(for the record, limpeh didn't go out on a date, limpeh went with in and that siao ginah sister. budden hor, it's just one of those things up there with spaghetti or delifrance sandwiches. there is no grace in it one. there was, however, a middle easternish lam pa across the table from us looking at my lan jiao kebab (THE FOOD KEBAB! THE FOOD KEBAB!) with mild interest. or horror. or, 'in my lan jiao country, neh nehs are TRAINED to eat kebabs without losing half of it, you incompetent half-cooked filipino-esque woman. for god's sakes stick to your sushi and stop defacing our traditional dishes'. or perhaps the cheebye kia didn't like that chao ah beng's meatballs. why are men so liddat complicated?)

lol in is henceforth known as the SIAO GINNAH!!!!

Lest we forget indeed.

2005-08-15T17:27:00.000+10:00

dude. your australian flag pin is upside down.

2005-08-14T16:32:00.000+10:00

go ahead. ask me how i'm feeling now.

2005-08-12T04:27:00.000+10:00

dear neighbours,

AHAHAHAHAHAHHA busted. and monash is going to kill you for breaking your bedroom window.

also,

2005-08-12T01:11:00.000+10:00

dear neighbours,

i realise you're completely drunk, but is it necessary to play the killers over and over again? and just mr. brightside? is it some sort of practice to see how much of the lyrics you can remember and sing along to while lying on your stomach, drooling on a table? especially since it's rather challenging to say the words in time even when sober? and you're currently trailing the lyrics by about.. 2 minutes. and they're WRONG BY THE WAY.

you're very strange. but i'm tempted to play the same song on my stereo and sing along drunkenly. if you can't beat em, join em.

and at least it's still better than bad trance music.

2005-08-11T22:41:00.000+10:00

dear herbalviagra,

i don't have a penis.

thanks for your time.

free food

2005-08-11T10:42:00.000+10:00

click here to donate 1.1 (yes, ONE POINT ONE!) cups of grain to someone starving in outer mongolia (or darfur even). you don't even have to write a check. just click. and why not click twice. or thrice. keep the grain flowing.

also, i hear yak butter is really disgusting.
(and yes, you do have to click the yellow button that says 'give free food', genius.)

2005-08-10T19:17:00.000+10:00

feck.

feckfeckfeckfeckfeck.
also, it's snowing in melbourne. but only if you live with pigs and cows.

2005-08-09T21:00:00.000+10:00

i need painkillers. stupid assignments.

anyway.

i was sitting in the library computer lab today, totally engrossed at staring at the monitor blankly. when suddenly two random girls bounce (literally) into the lab (to save the day!). and then. one of them opens her mouth.

'HELLO PEOPLE! (pause) PEOPLE! WE'RE HERE TODAY FOR GAY&LESBIAN DAY (i .. think) AND WE HAVE LOLLIES AND RAINBOW RIBBONS (other girl interjects : SEE! MR BUNNY IS WEARING ONE TOO!) SO YES. BE A TOLERANT PERSON. HAVE A LOLLY!'

which is all well and good, but meanwhile a whole lot of blinking was going on (could it be because all they heard was, 'PEOPLE....LOLLIESRAINBOWMYBUNNYWEARSONETOO'? no?) and my ears were bleeding because she had JUST SHOUTED ALL OF THAT STRAIGHT INTO MY BRAIN. i took a lolly anyway.
so the pair wandered around the lab offering stuff and no one seemed to have ANY idea what they were passing lollies and ribbons around for (i think my head must have absorbed most of the sound. sorry.)
so some random, very confused guy asks : 'uh.. what is it for again?'
'wear one and if people ask you what the ribbon is for you can tell them it's because you're a tolerant person!'
and you can just SEE the guy's trying to digest the rather ratty stuffed rabbit dancing around in front of his face. he was probably also rolling the word around on his tongue, like chewing gum (to...le...rance?)
the suspense. also, he probably had no idea what the tolerance was for. but i think the rainbow is a big tipoff. but then again, it is a mainly education faculty campus. maybe he thought they were trying to raise awareness about the correct order of the seven colours of the rainbow. whatever. i'm stupid.
'ah. well. okay. i'll take one. how much is it?'
'it's free!'
then i took another lolly. because not only was i tolerant, i was also hungry.

and i mean, it could be that you're a tolerant person, but there's also no way you can say, nah (without sounding like a complete asshat). because then it means you're not a tolerant person and MRBUNNY WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH THE FRAYING RAINBOW RIBBON OF TOLERANCE EGADS.

in any case, don't get me wrong, i'm not against it, i'm just more interested in rooting for the preservation of my ears (and perhaps.. a more.. convincing.. spokesman than mrbunny).
also, someone's been dipping into the lolly supply a bit much haven't they?

i am so cranky. bleh.

2005-08-06T17:34:00.000+10:00

this is completely random. but.

darth vader wears stained boxers. i know because i saw him walk out of the changing room.

that is all.

caption this

2005-08-01T22:53:00.000+10:00

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. good god.

does his penis double as a torchlight (-_- crazy japanese technology) or is it just holy?
gackt is strange. his chief photoshop editor is stranger.
(off ontd)

2005-08-01T22:09:00.000+10:00

meme again. it's like the post equivalent of ..i don't know. mcdonald's. only sleepier.

had kebab over the weekend (yea well. i like food. food is a perfectly logical summary of the weekend. don't let weightwatchers tell you otherwise.)

note to self : do not order kebab on a date. i mean. it's ridiculous the amount of STUFF that falls out the bottom. especially if your chicken bits resemble turds. it was good stuff though.

(for the record, i didn't go out on a date, i went with in and her sister. but it's just one of those things up there with spaghetti or delifrance sandwiches. there is no grace in it. there was, however, a middle easternish man across the table from us looking at my kebab (THE FOOD KEBAB! THE FOOD KEBAB!) with mild interest. or horror. or, 'in my country, women are TRAINED to eat kebabs without losing half of it, you incompetent half-cooked filipino-esque woman. for god's sakes stick to your sushi and stop defacing our traditional dishes'. or perhaps he didn't like his meatballs. why are men so complicated?)

hoolitagged

the blah blah blah rules.
~ People can only play when tagged
~ You can make up new questions, delete questions, add questions, or keep the same, whatever.
~ The people you tag must add one more question than what you have

Five Amazing Things:
- that i finish assignments on time
- that i haven't grown an extra limb or two from eating sri inai food. in however, does have a third nipple. i suppose mine can be the extra ass cheek.
- coffee. and you know it.
- that my friends put up with me :)
- horses

Five Things You Miss About Your Childhood:
- pre-puberty.
- the lack of responsibility.
- kickapoo. OK ENOUGH WITH THE FOOD ANSWERS GEEG. JESUS.
- sweet, young, pure, age-unaffected brainpower.
- other than that, not much really.

Five Letters:
heh. someone had a verrry late night didn't they?

Five Foods You Like:
-_-;; i think we've pretty much covered this.

Five Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
be someone. mean something. tell someone off in a public place. and win! also, i've always wanted to go to space. or south africa. whichever's closer.

Five Things in Your Wallet:
- a concession card MWAHAHAHAHA. also, i don't know anyone who even vaguely resembles me, otherwise they can have it over summer since it lasts till february 2006 and im leaving middle of october. chiru's a bit of a stretch really :/ comment if interested.
- her majesty's subjects
- a driver's licence. ha. ha.
- boost drink card, two free subway cards and two coffeebean drink cards. one of them has three communist chops from china, one from melbourne and another from singapore. it's probably not going to do well on ebay.
- a talisman. in an angpow. it's weird.

Name Five Things You're Looking forward to in the next Month:
- finishing a few fucking assignments
- the end of prac
- possible lion king (anyone else?)
- next month means it's only a month away from going home.
- my life isn't horribly exciting.

Name Five Superpowers That You Wish You Could Have:
i don't need a superpower, i just have to own cadbury. world domination is only a free taste test away.

Five Places You HATE To Go To:
- government offices.
- pyramid -_-
- cny gatherings.
- KLIA
- Nightclubs (Sorry, not my thing by far. Pubs, perhaps.) <-- agreed. it's a lot of fun to watch everyone else get drunk though :P

Five Things You Want:
- i want to stop this non-stop kelly clarkson binge whenever i'm nearing that time of the month. GOD. on a related note, i also want jessica simpson's these boots are made for walking. i swear hormones overcompensate for my lack of girly pop music.
- apprentice 2 episodes 15-16
- to get through this sem's assignments with most of my hair intact.
- i may as well be consistent : cadbury
- a sense of direction. one of those fancy high-end cameras so i can do nothing with it and dust it every now and then.

Five Fears:
- that i may outgrow myself
- loneliness
- cockroaches
- losing loved ones i suppose
- that i will fail

Five things that irk me:
- i can't stand people ignoring me. it really, really pisses me off.
- uh. this sounds horrible. but uh. when my mum asks me questions. doesn't matter what it is. it really annoys me. i suppose its a leftover childhood thing.
- incompetency
- PDA. we don't need to know. really.
- it's not an 'irk' per say, but i get very itchy when i see a grammar/spelling mistake that needs correcting

Five numbers that mean something to me:
- 1999
- 15
- 16
- 7
- 3

Five things you wish you could do one more time :
- taiping :D
- japan
- paid more attention to my grandparents
- form 3 was great. as weird as it sounds i'd love to do pmr again. too easy.
- europe. without the 12 hour nosebleeds and the lousy chinese food.

Five people that have inspired you in your life:
dad. mum. my godmother. that's it. don't really get inspired because i'm so terminally indifferent.

Five animals you would like as pets:
i'd rather they just be, you know, alive. and non-suicidal. latest pet death, my brother's science experiment guppies. dead via us. jumping out of small plastic aquarium. and henry the turtle is missing. i don't know what happened to him. hopefully it's not the balcony roof. why do my parents not listen when i tell them nothing non-human stays alive in our household? i don't need a list of dead pets on my karma thanks.
disclaimer : i actually like animals. ok, so i had a little bout of insanity when i was a kid when i plucked bird's feathers, made a rabbit go through all sorts of obstacle courses and stomped on ants. but i like animals dammit.
in any case, the older i get the more i begin to dislike the idea of keeping living things in cages. it wears on you, watching them clawing at the bars.

Five odd presents you've been given :
- My grandmother gave me a large, thick book probably titled - Buddhism : Hell and how to get there. It was in chinese. It had little comic illustrations of people commiting suicide and cheating on their spouses and lying to their parents. It was weird. I was 12. The pictures were excruciatingly detailed. The 7 levels of hell is not a place i'd vacation in until they get rid of the brimstone, fires, scary demons and large numbers of sharp pointy objects inside body parts. Anyway, that was the first and last birthday present i got from my grandma.
- Syakir gave me, wanie and in an orange condom each for our 15th birthday. he kept the rest.
- A diary with a flimsy lock by a friend of my mother. because 'your mother said you're a very private person'. is that why the lock can be pulled open by a 5 year old?
- a replica of janet jackson's nipple ring
- a belly chain. i don't understand my father's sense of mockery.

The 5 people I tag:
is there anyone that hasn't been tagged? but just in case, feel free to do it again :)

lists are convenient.

2005-07-27T17:49:00.000+10:00

1. i am possibly the only person EVER to set a piece of wood on fire by drilling it. YES. I HAVE SCORCH MARKS TO PROVE IT.

2. i am also possibly the only person to have the drill lunge at me. don't ask me how. it just did. we (being me, sayaka and some girl i don't know who asked us to drill for her) screamed in short burts of 2 seconds each for 5 minutes. then bob hustled over, looked annoyed, and pointed out the pliers. i am also possibly the only person because all the others are dead.

3. i have a massive bruise on the side of my bum from sitting (and being me, i don't sit gently) on an arm rest. it's not kinky. it fecking hurts.

4. i burnt my finger with a hot glue gun. bob was nice enough to tell me as i was fanning my hand frantically that i should be careful because the glue cools on the outside but continues to burn on the inside. thanks bob.

4a. I also have a very thin paper-cutlike cut on my finger from the drilling incident. I dont know if it came from an actual piece of paper, or I got so startled I almost exploded.

5. in childcare today, every single bloody one of the children had runny noses (the green kind). in fact, they had such a bad bout of illnesses and conjunctivitis (!? yea i know) only 3 out of ten children showed up. also, 7 of the 10 had asthma. what is up with the AIR in this country? and are they avoiding me O_o?

6. and there was this ADORABLE lump of a baby there. I mean, she's like, the perfect baby to babysit. She just smiled, and smiled. when you smiled, she smiled back. when she smiled, you smiled back. she eats when you give her a spoon. and when she dislodges jelly out of her cone and onto her bib, she eats it off it. no mess at all. i could cry. so easy. and i mean, she's also so cute because she is somewhat shaped like a snowman built on three same-sized pumpkins. but she has a remarkable sense of balance anyway for a 1 year old, considering when she walks, she teeter totters and when she squats i just know she's going to fall flat on her face. but she didn't. and she's not conventionally pretty or 'cute' per say. but THE SMILING! THE SMILING!

7. one of the babies had his ear pierced O_o. he's 6 months old. when does he get the rest of the bling? his 5 yr old brother has one too. I don't know how them other convinced him to let a strange, tatooed man put a needle through his ear, but I imagine it involved a lot of playstation time. the aforementioned baby also happens to be baby no.6. people, contraceptives. please.

8. i forgot.

'Saw'

2005-07-24T22:05:00.000+10:00

O_O

*gapes*

wow. i mean. like. wow.

didn't see that one coming.
brilliantly sick movie, reminds me of those little japanese clue games like the viridian room or red room.
but dude. YIKES. YIKES.

won't spoil it for you, but go watch it, and you'll see what i mean.

yea.

this also pleasantly showcases one of the main reasons why i hate dolls or puppets. they're so freakin creepy. yelgh.

2005-07-22T23:16:00.000+10:00

the irony of my extreme refusal to read anything harry potter related is that when someone googles for 'tell me who died in harry potter', they get my site.

try again girls.

and i sort of GOT FUCKING SPOILED BY SOME MORON WHO FLASHED IT IN HIS ICON. i think. i hope not. in any case, will read it when i can snitch it off in.

hello site, i've been neglecting you. its only because i didnt do anything new so i have nothing new to say :(

2005-07-15T17:42:00.000+10:00

1. am soaked. it rains in winter. it rains whether im on a train, a bus, or shlocking my way through muddy paths on the ridiculously long 10 minute route from the busstop to my place. ive only recently come to a reluctant acceptance of melbourne winter rain after 2 and a half years of denial.

2. INNIE CHIRU AND LUNE. chocolate wasn't enough to induce hysterical hyperness. which is surprising. next time.
(ps. I DO NOT KICK NORMALLY. I SWEAR THIS. HAVE FAITH MY GOATSY ONE. (and you can ask in. since i didn't kick her either.) and we're sorry we cramped you off the bed! in is really cuddly when she isn't squishing you to death. not that i know. but i've spoken to her dolls.)

3. for those who've already heard the singapore flight story. skip this. because ive said it all before :)

anyway. i booked economy tickets for sia from kul to melbourne, but sia being sia, i had to stopover for 5 hours at singapore (where i spent my time posting at livejournal with lots of caps :P) so i stop over at singapore. i wait. then realise i am internetless without being able to download the codec SO THAT I HAVE SOUND AND CAN LISTEN TO ORLANDO BLOOM'S PONCEY CHATTER IN KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. so i have to watch the majestic instead (jim carrey is not made to be a dramatic actor. seriously. i keep expecting him to bend over and start saying his lines with his asscheeks.) and wait. and wait. and then i board the flight. i didn't notice my seat number until i actually fumbled clumsily in my bag for my ticket because the stiff smiled stewardess wanted it (TO THE RIGHT PLEASE MAAM). so 14A. i waddle (note to self : do not bring a frickin yoga mat on board when the space between seats are smaller than said yoga mat. also, people do notice when you whack them several times on the head with it) past the first and business class seats straight for the economy seats. which is when i notice they started with 30.

so i waddle back down the VERY annoyed boarding line. and i stop at 14A. which is where a VERY surprised old man is staring at me, sitting in 14B.
at this point im still thinking to myself, am i crazy or did economy seats get a whole lot bigger? (YES I KNOW IM A BIT SLOW.)
because i could feel a whole lotta rage building behind me i ungracefully dump my hand luggage onto said surprised man's feet (IM SORRY!) and open the overhead compartment and then hoist it up. a (nice?) disgruntled aussie man helped me put it into compartment more out of 'THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT. DO NOT ENDANGER MY INFANTS THANK YOU.' than compassion. i suppose :).

so i sit there for half an hour while waiting for a plane to take off thinking, 'man, i just KNOW some rich business type/spoiled makeup heavy girlbrat is going to eject me from my seat. AND AM I EVEN ON THE RIGHT FLIGHT?' anyway, i assume the old man next to me was thinking the same thing i was thinking.
- i'm so not supposed to be here
- you're not supposed to be here are you?
when the plane took off and no one tried to kick me off the plane, i was all like, 'oh god, the engine is going to explode. god is trying to send me off in style. IM NOT RICH YET GOD. GIVE ME MORE TIME.'
nothing happened. THANK YOU GOD.

now i just need to be rich. any volunteers?

on a side note, yea i have noticed ive become slightly (very slightly) neurotic lately :/. i haven't been hanging out with kat. why?? (i luff yew anyway katsiepoo!)

so i got to sit in business class :D. cool. i can hear my dad and youngest brother howling from melbourne. 'I DONT CARE WHAT YOU DID I WANT THAT FOR ME TOO'. its probably overbooking and i got uberlucky (and possibly since i booked really late and was using my squeaky innocent phone voice. and my email amused the guy). the only other thing was that i checked in online (MAS has a LOT to catch up to).

but is it weird that i don't like sitting in business class (this isn't my first time by the way)? and business class pillows. GOD. satin cover + overstuffage = a LOT of slipping off while trying to sleep. and they serve food on porcelain instead of plastic. which is fine, if you ignore the icy cold cups and frigid cutlery. and the fact that your passengers dont usually spill all three dainty cups of juice, water and water :).

4. there is no food in the house, i think. i feel like wailing.

sinus

2005-07-11T15:05:00.000+10:00

My nose is killing me.

I recently impressed myself by sneezing a hole in my tissue.
I'm leaving in a day or so.
I still need :

1. a pair of sports shoes. One that doesn't have holes in it.

2. lunch.

3. to prove that i do cook in melbourne by cooking my family something (or essentially my mom. because she's my mum. and therefore the only one brave enough to attempt consumption) and that i haven't simply developed immunity. like i did with sri inai food. but geeg, aren't you exaggerating a little? im just saying, snails and random pebbles don't really go with bland curry chicken and uncooked rice. and the overpriced, 70% uncooked chicken nuggets on a stick, and the sotong balls of colours and bits not found in nature, and the little brown pieces we found in our nasi lemak.
i got a little self-righteous when in and wanie complained about what looked like cicak shit in their rice. and i was all, motherfuck it, IM COMPLAINING. IM STANDING UP FOR MY RIGHTS. I WILL ELIMINATE LITTLE PIECES OF BROWN STUFF IN NASI LEMAK FOR THE GOOD OF ALL.
so i stalk up to the large canteen lady.
g : kak, there's little brown pieces in my rice.
kak : oh that's ikan bilis.
g : there's no way this is ikan bilis. its brown. and looks like cicak shit.
kak : *turns purple* IT IS IKAN BILIS SHIT OKAY. NOT CICAK SHIT. WHERE DO YOU THINK I LIVE!? KAMPUNG HOUSE AH (well i mean. she IS a canteen lady who wouldn't look out of place in some rural village next to the water buffaloes)? I LIVE IN AN ULTRAMODERN SUBURB WITH ELECTRICITY AND RUNNING WATER. HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THA -
g : OKAY OKAY. sorry, jeez.
okay. so im not the best person to choose to lead a self-appointed revolution.

4. cendol. oh sweet malaysian cendol. why do you evade me?

anything else essential i missed?

2005-07-10T17:53:00.000+10:00

i love this site.
(i know some people i know would love it heh. and its sort of weird that i got the link from a gossip community :/)

that is all. did everyone have a good weekend with friends and 16 dollars worth of sushi besides? :)

2005-07-04T17:08:00.000+10:00

by the way my usual suspects, ive uploaded *most* of the photos. the extras ill send to you by mail. uh. sometime. soon? remind me. you know im bad at this time management and to-do-list thing.

i don't know. do you guys prefer fotopages or flicker? flicker lets me rant a little longer. but i dont know, i like the fotopages layout. on the other hand, it takes the amount of time an animal needs to go extinct for me to upload photos on fotopages. that's only if it doesn't timeout on me.

P.S. also, if you (yes yes, the people i don't quite know) don't want your photo on the photobadge thing underneath the links let me know and ill eliminate. same thing with not wanting your photo ANYWHERE :)

oh the irony

2005-07-04T15:28:00.000+10:00

You Are 46% American

America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

How American Are You?

so close. SO CLOSE.

and just to prove it, my southern slang results. how is that supposed to be better than my aussie slanguage? eh eh?

Your Slanguage Profile

New England Slang: 50%

Southern Slang: 50%

Aussie Slang: 25%

Canadian Slang: 25%

Prison Slang: 25%

Victorian Slang: 25%

British Slang: 0%

What Slanguage Do You Speak?

cross-posted

2005-07-01T18:34:00.000+10:00

1. Narcis. Also i called chiru pregnant in hers. it's only fair that she get a shot no? :P : Leave a one-word comment that you think best describes me. It can only be one word. No more. Then copy & paste this in your journal so that I may leave a word about you.

do i have any lurkers? unlikely, but if i do, I WANT A WORD.
murhurr nevermind. these memes never work for me ^_^

2. Random song sharing

New, No Doubt - sans Harajuku Girls. i'm no music elitist, but I miss skapop Gwen Stefani. You know, way back when when she didn't make raping Japanese pop culture her favourite past time. kawa-ee this ya'll.

Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own, U2 - It has lovely acoustics but, "Sing, you're the reason I sing/You're the reason why the opera is in me..." as it is with most U2 songs, this one doesn't have very imaginative lyrics either.

Take It or Leave It, Jet - YEAAAAAA!!!!! TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, YEA!. Genius :P One of those headbanging, yowling songs they're good at.

Catalyst, Anna Nalick - When you say love/Is a simple chemical reaction/Can't say I agree/Cause my chemicals/Left me a beautiful disaster/Still love's all I see. I don't know why this song always reminds me of being on a dilapidated slow carousel ride. She has a lovely voice, the same gravelly quality Norah Jones has.

Across the Universe, Fiona Apple - ...I just like sad, gravelly voices?

Music is the Victim, Scissor Sisters - what? it's camp! and catchy!

The Church of What's Happening Now, Sia - Welcome to The church of what's happening now/Head straight through/It costs nothing but change. off my flist. slow but gorgeous.

has anyone seen...?

2005-07-01T13:52:00.000+10:00

i just realised. I LOST INTAN. i have absolutely no frickin means of contact with her in melbourne! and (yes chiru) i have an extreme lack of foresight to boot.

IN IF YOU SEE THIS EMAIL ME. SMS ME. EMAIL/ELJAY/CALL CHIRU OR SOMETHING.
i know i am an overbearing pain in the ass all the time! BUT DONT LEAVE ME. I NEEEED YOUUU.

this public service announcement is brought to you by freudian/psych issues stemming from the author's childhood and a lack of sleep. thank you.

thought : no.2

2005-06-28T21:58:00.000+10:00

in karaoke

(random video comes on)
geeg : what video is this?
stick : oh mariah carey
in : you should have known from the stripping of robe in the beginning
geeg : true. especially when its followed scantily clad self molestation
stick : -_-
in : close up of surgery enhanced boobies...
geeg : wedding dress
in : good looking young guy staring longingly at middle aged mariah...
geeg : 'i love you for your mind!'
stick : guys. i LIKE this song??
in : reluctant marriage to an older richer white man
geeg : 'i love you for your mind!'
stick : *weeps*
geeg : look, mariah's not wearing pants!
stick : *self-flagellates*

eheheh sorry sticky. but she needs to get over tommy mottola. stat.

2005-06-28T21:11:00.000+10:00

im catching up with my astro.

and really. what is with drink commercials and their tendency to turn children into either
a) geniuses
b) micheal jordan
c) dolphins (ala milo)

SPRITE DID NOT MAKE ME COOL OR GIVE ME A GAZILLION FRIENDS. STOP LYING TO ME. MY TEETH HURT.

i sincerely love milo though :(

batman semi spoiler.

2005-06-26T23:56:00.000+10:00

uhm.

....so...batman is....really a pissed off ninja?
;_;

lap up every second liam neeson is in the movie. especially in the first half. the man is good. really, really good. is it the english accent? or the beard? i will never know.
i would give kudos to christian bale too (he was amazing in empire of the sun. and 12.) but his nose freaks me out. its like side profile, nose, front profile, line in middle of face. and him with the batman mask on just scares me heh.
plus in kept going 'mmm' salaciously everytime he worked with hardware. which was 95% of the time. confound it.
do not stare too long at cillian murphy's eyes (scarecrow) for your own sanity. he's creepy.
also for your own sanity, do not stare at katie holmes' forehead. especially when she frowns or raises her eyebrows. miniature tsunamis form and you don't need that sort of trauma.
no real verdict. great acting, a little too slow in the second half i suppose. i loved the mood and cinematography. and how remote tibetan villagers could speak English :P

Star Wars : RotS. unaffiliated with LOTR : RotK :) really.

2005-06-25T03:26:00.000+10:00

strange. my dad's watching the bootleg and my brother is playing the better plotted better acted video game as i type this. i snub george lucas. i buy pirated :)
(note : if you see random edit tags, its because i copied and pasted from lj. don't fret.)

ahem.
in in pink, me in yellow, ck in pink.
we made a horrible colour combination. reminded me of a hong kong tart shop.

anyway, as usual, we were late.
in bought the tickets.
and ck lost them.
you know know star wars is going to suck when your tickets disappear somewhere between the 4 inches of the popcorn counter and ck's pants.

anyway after some frantic screaming and bloody accusations of ownership and passing bags and various items around, we find them. IN CK'S POCKET. WHERE THEY WERE THE WHOLE TIME.
and no, i dont appreciate the whole 'whirl at geeg when something goes missing' reflex from my friends. IT IS NOT ALWAYS MY FAULT BITCHES. IT IS, MOSTLY. BUT NOT ALWAYS. SEE ABOVE. HAH.
the popcorn girls had a good time snickering at us.
(disclaimer : although i claim victory for all of us, it wasn't literally WE that found the tickets in ck's pocket, ck did it himself)

then we waltzed into the cinema about 15 minutes late. ewan was talking, r2d2 was beeping, but THERE WAS NO SOUND.
why did we ignore the omens?

the spoilers in this thing are 30 years old, so my only warning : i ramble. a lot. i whine. a lot. seriously, more than usual.
be brave.

ewan is frantic! sweat is beading on his forehead! metal objects from exploding spaceships whizz by dangerously! frantically! deadly little laser beams that never hit anything go on infinitely past the screen! franticness! heck! R2D2 : FRANTIC. ewan's very expression conveys ARGH no! NOT THE ROUND, ODDLY CUTE CRITTER ROBOTS I AM COMPLETELY HELPLESS TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT!
and hayden! hayden was. i dont know what hayden was trying to look like. i've already said he has an expression of eternal constipation.

anyway, hayden proceeds to seriously attempt to set obi wan's ship on fire under the pretext of shooting the critters off and then WHAM, crashes into him.
and suddenly, obi wan is SURPRISED hayden turns to the dark side and tries to kill him in the end. REALLY. may the force be with you ya'll.

and how come only the chosen one's r2d2 is equipped with a taser ey?

anyway, now the sound is back on again so i can't speculate anymore. dammit.
in munches popcorn grumpily.

and because im missing 15 minutes of what is loosely termed plot development, i have no idea what's going on when they engage in some bad dialogue and horrible horrible horrible comic attempts by ewan in a lift. and the robots. GOD THE ROBOTS. its like they're overcompensating for the tragedy that is jar jar binks. some gems:

hayden gets left behind and clings on precariously from a .. door(?) by his hands. some robots approach.
'hands up jedi'

'drop your weapons i said drop em uh i mean dr-*saberburn*'

'ow.'

'excuse me.'

'YOU WONT GET AWAY WITH THIS COUNT DOOKU!'
HEH. and anakin and obiwan want to be taken seriously. hee hee.
anyway, you know dooku dies eventually because he didn't use his paintshop pro lightning effects and he's already been in another trilogy starring another constipated split personality.

obi wan gets thrown onto the floor in level 1 from level 2.
steel platform falls gently on obi wan.
ewan doll shifts.
remember george, masking tape is your friend.

hayden has dooku's head between two lightsabers. he hesitates.
palpatine : good, GOOOOOOD anakin. kill him, kill him now.
hayden : i shouldn't.
palpatine : do it.
dooku : *miraculously loses 5 kilos*
palpatine : >:) you did well anakin.
*sputters*
THE MAN HAS HORNS. he was one line away from going MWAHAHAHHAHAHAA! ill forgive obi wan because he's currently unconscious and being crushed to death by a platform, but what's hayden's excuse?
anyway. after slicing off dooku's head, hayden blinks and spouts bla bla bla ridiculous dialogue about having killed someone and it isn't the jedi way with the sincerity of an insurance salesman.
and where did he get the scar from? i like it.

also.
current severed limb count : 2

then. i don't quite know how it happened, but suddenly the ship starts blowing up. palpatine and hayden begin to run off when suddenly a huge lightbulb goes off above hayden's head and he's all like 'OH RIGHT. obi wan.' (i don't blame him. ive done it too many times to count :P)

anakin skywalker, m.d., somehow manages to lift a huge piece of steel structure with one hand, roll obi wan over and declare, 'his lower body appears to be crushed by a ton of steel, but he's alright'.
palpatine huffs.

and if i may digress, i really really like anakin's costume. i wore something like it for my 2 line performance as gloomin' the ogre. i would have liked ewan's clothing but somehow ewan's jedi costume eats up his shoulders. i don't know if its because he has a short neck, narrow shoulders or a great love of 80s style shoulder pads. but yea. its odd.

they run horizontally. they run vertically. they run upwards. they run and run and run. its endless. someone has switched all the robots' settings to various levels of 'ridiculously stupid', 'incredibly insipid' and 'uh-oh'. the same genius should also consider perhaps NOT MAKING R2D2's INSTRUCTIONS SOUND OUT ON LOUDSPEAKERS ON AN ENEMY SHIP. ESPECIALLY SINCE HE'S A FRICKIN ROBOT AND DOESN'T ACTUALLY NEED TO HEAR.
in the end they run into general grevious. i love his camp name, i don't understand why he sounds like count dracula with a cold.
~~and also, when he smashes the window, how come they can still BREATHE? and how come no one else but grevious gets sucked out? IS THERE SOMETHING IM MISSING ABOUT INTERGALACTIC PHYSICS HERE?~~ ok so the window was sealed. but still, one has to wonder why a battleship regularly beleaguered by deadly weapons has glass that can be destroyed with a stab of grevious' lightning staff thing.

anakin has to drive the ship. palpatine looks like a senile tourist. he's fuckin fascinated.
the giant giant ship breaks into half, then slowly disintegrates from there.

silently, i wonder if the skywalker men are remotely capable of not destroying something that isn't planet sized.

fast forward, anakin and padme are PDAing practically in front of the jedi. it's cute. they think they're being discreet because they're behind a pillar. padme looks about 12 years old. in the next scene, by some miracle of lighting and orange dye, she looks about 65. i never thought natalie portman was beautiful, just kind of GAP catalogue pretty, but it takes a lot of talent to make her look like the wicked witch of the west.
and. they seem to be LIVING TOGETHER. the force does not pick up on this how?

eh.
yay! shirtless anakin!
edit : i figured it out. ewan doesn't sound like ewan on crack the entire movie. ewan sounds like MARY POPPINS on crack the entire movie. whodathunkit!

AHAHAHAHHAHAA i love china bootleg captions. everytime someone says jedi, the captions say 'cheddar'. i don't care. its funny :
the cheddar are relentless
the cheddar are enemies of the republic.
EVERY CHEDDAR MUST BE HUNTED DOWN AND DESTROYED!!!
it is not the cheddar way!
i feel fat.

another of three. but i forgot the last one.
hayden : ive just been so frustrated with the council. i apologise for my behaviour.
ewan : *grabs shoulders* anakin, you are strong, and wise
(geeg : WHEN!? WHO?! HOW!? YOU!?)
closed caption : anakin, you are strong, and wide.
(geeg : oh.)

the ~~gorillas~~wookies are attacking! noooo not the wookies!
(although what the wookies plan to do with large sticks against armed boats and planes i know not. also, tarzan reference. and tarzan swinging. one of many. MANY.)

ewan confronts grevious surrounded by 50 million droids. brilliant man. anyway he duels with grevious. both engage in some mano on mano dialogue. grevious takes off his cloak, reveals that he is indeed a cockroach and says :
'FOOL! I've been trained in your jedi arts by count DOOKU'
HEHEH. grevious apparently believes the jedi arts is whirling your arms crazily in large circles.

general grevious.
sweetie.
how do i say this.
i realise you're not the sharpest tool in the shed. and body image issues are entirely valid since you seem to mainly consist of 4 baby organs (or the byproduct of the most successful gastric bypass surgery ever. but no lungs. which befuddles me since you seem to need them as well as a throat to hack and cough.)
but uh, surely.
surely.
you must realise that your armour is about 16 sizes too small for you?
obi wan saw everything

george lucas. please. PLEASE. hire some martial arts choreographers. your characters can only hang off ledges so many times, magically deflect death rays so many times they look actually quite bored doing it, drop themselves into floating cars so many times. also, tarzan is copyrighted. stop making them swing from vines. or at least, if you must, make them do it in loincloths. its only fair.

You know that character of no particular importance ewan goes to meet which informs him that grevious is on the planet? the poor man was wearing so much rubber he could barely lift his lip to say his lines.

i LOVED the barking lizard (although i question the sanity of using an animal that actually barks out a welcome to the enemy on the 10th floor) does anyone else wonder if the lizard just sort of stayed where he was the entire time when ewan was hoisted off by grevious in the round cycle thing? and then ewan had to walk all the way back to fetch him? hee? hee?

later, obi wan is blasted off the cliff by his own troops (this man has issues with trusting too easily -_-) and he plummets about 200 feet down into a pool of water(?); he STILL makes it out alive without a single bruise or scratch. NOT A SINGLE BRUISE. HIS HAIR IS STILL PERFECTLY COIFFED. what is the man MADE OF? orlando bloom!?

WOW. obiwan is good. he finds undamaged, unmanned, completely undetectable invisiplane waiting for him in the first cliffside he walks into!

palpatine sends for hayden. palpatine uses a red computer screen! HE IS DEFINITELY EVIL.

sidious and windu clash.
us : POKE HIS EYES OUT WINDU!
windu : *doesn't*
us : you dead.

the death scene is hilarious.
sidious : *CONCENTRATED NEGATIVE IONS*
windu : *POSITIVELY CHARGED PURPLE LIGHTSABER OF DEATH*
hayden : NO. WAIT. I NEED HIM.
windu : *sweats*
sidious : *wrinkles* i am just a pathetic old man!
windu : he is too dangerous to be kept alive! *presses down somemore*
hayden : KILLING HIM IS NOT THE JEDI WAY. I AM NOT A HYPOCRITE.
windu : I. TOTALLY. AGREE. *presses down harder*
sidious : *wilts* EXCUSE ME SIRS MY BRAIN IS SHOWING
windu : AHAHAH! I AM THIS CLOSE TO KILLING HIM NOW!
hayden : NO!
windu : SEE! LOOK HOW I LABOUR TO CLOSE THE 5 INCH GAP TO WIPE SIDIOUS OFF THE PLANET AND THEREBY PREVENT THREE MORE SEQUELS FEATURING THE WHINIEST FATHER-SON TEAM IN HISTORY!
sidious : ...
windu : ANYTIME NOW! KILLING HIM!
hayden : ...
windu : WATCH ME DRAMATICALLY LIFT MY LIGHTSABER FOR THE DOWNSWING
(after 5 minutes)
hayden : -_-;;
windu : are you watching? i'm killing him?
audience : today, please, windu.
windu : KEEEELL- *gets electrocuted*

like so.

(click here if image doesn't show)
:)
i love little men. just thought i'd share.
(does it play super fast for anyone else with mozilla? or is it just me?)

i think the jedis should have to pass an IQ test before they actually come out on the field.

oh man :/ the slashers don't even need to slash hayden and palpatine. the sugar daddy undertones are everywhere.
'dooku will be replaced with a new apprentice. a very, capable, YOUNG apprentice'
'i am appointing you my PERSONAL representative in the jedi council'
'come closer anakin, i have good news *leer*'

'i now serve only you, master'
ck : but noooo! you'll be ugly!!

as an initiation the shiny new darkhayden marches up to the jedi temple with the boba fetts. this is the only scene i like. its cool. it lasts for all of 15 seconds. i want my money back.
darkhayden wanders around killing jedis and finally ends up in an empty room. but pop! younglings! who by the way, do fantastic job of hiding 16 people behind ~~one~~two chairs!
little kid with an obnoxious british accent : 'Master Skywalker, soldiers everywhere! what shall we do?'
Hayden : *dramatic saber unsheathing* kill the british..

when ewan looks through the security holograms of hayden slashing people. it is horrifying. it reeks of :
To : All Cast Members of SW:ROTS
From : George Lucas
Re : Acting

Dear Cast,

Please do not emote. You will wrinkle. Refer to Darth Sidious.

Love,
G. Lucas.

can.. pregnant women.. actually.. run? sprint lightly? like padme does when she lands on mufaster (or whatever the heck its called)? i keep wanting to reach into the screen and hold the belly for support.

5 lines and a half later, hayden realises, 'YOU DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE'.
padme is all 'BUT I DONT'.
hayden : DONT TRY TO LIE TO ME HOW CAN YOU D - wait. what?
anyway obi wan has incredibly bad timing and shows up illuminated in the doorway with his hands on his hips.
ewan, if you wanted the superman role why didn't you just say so?

later padme's lying down. why is her pregnant belly.... pointy? like madonna circa cone bra? is it the running? it just gives me not so pleasant images of the foetuses bouncing violently from wall to wall and making visible dents on her uterus.

anakin was recently set on fire. he's actually still steaming.
sidious tottles over and kneels down next to anakin.
then he appears to curiously put his hand on anakin's forehead.(you can FEEL the audience cringe backwards)

sidious : *flinch* ew.

update.
severed limb count : 5
number of limbs belonging to anakin : 3 (who thought it was a good idea to give him a lightsaber?)

also, what the HECK is anakin's jedi costume made out of?! he needs to come with a yellow EXTREMELY FREAKING FLAMMABLE warning.

AHAHA. they let it RAIN on anakin. i can't tell if hayden's wriggling body was going 'ARGH' or 'Ahhh...'

doctor's prognosis on padme. well. i mean. i would lose the will to live too if i had to do this movie.

in the coffin, why did they keep ~~arwen~~ padme pregnant exactly? since leia did ascend the throne eventually no? someone enlighten me, can't think of any particular reason. the sequels were a long time ago.

Darth Vader is shiny.
in : darth vader, now in seven different colours!
geeg : also available in fuschia and hot pink!

i love it. for all their impressive lightsabering and intergalactic space warping technology, darth vader still has large on and off buttons in the front of his suit.

:/ you know. i find it impossible to believe they didn't pin palpatine as sidious earlier. don't they have some identification system or something 60 million years in the future? he has the longest jowls in the universe after all.

verdict : for all my whining it really wasn't all that bad a movie. okay, so yoda (who is, if you didn't know already, a puppet) is the only thing that ACTS in this movie aside from some valiant attempts by portman and palpatine. but, it is GEORGE LUCAS and its vaguely entertaining! watch it for the RM7 ticket at TGV.

reading the scottish & malaysian national curriculum

2005-06-20T19:19:00.000+10:00

now see, i never quite understood why its a number 1 objective in the 'living things' section for kids to learn :
'to know the difference between an animal and a plant'

isn't it pretty obvious?
one is GREEN.

in pictorial terms :
animal

plant

simple no?

(sorry, felt like taking a cheap shot today :D)

2005-06-15T17:30:00.000+10:00

im back by the way :)

salutations and kisses to all.

2005-06-08T19:43:00.000+10:00

For your viewing pleasure, the marionette.

without the strings and completely unattached to body parts because they were all in uni.
ill get a picture later.

Happy Birthday

2005-06-04T03:03:00.000+10:00

this is a very very very late birthday wish for a smallish tree lover.
happy birthday. now invest in some heels so you can ocassionally reach my shoulder :)

keep bouncing.

*sighs* no not in a pervy way.

im sorry i couldn't come up with a more birthday befitting post. its 3 am :) hope you had a great day anyway.
but fip, OAK STRIPPERS?

2005-06-01T18:04:00.000+10:00

how tempting. star wars 3 is available for download :/

largely irrelevant.

2005-06-01T13:31:00.000+10:00

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

remember the moffatts?

yes. i expected that befuddled, resounding silence.

anyway, remember dave moffatt? and how he and his band used to actually have some strange career singing to prepubscents?

then why is dave moffatt auditioning on canadian idol?

O_o;;

(ps. nobody seems to know if he made it through or not. it would be funny if he didn't :P)

non-halal

2005-05-30T21:09:00.000+10:00

annndd.. now.. i ..really want porkchops.

ok. geeg.

2005-05-29T21:31:00.000+10:00

i will only say this once :
no. more. tim. tams.

twice :
no. more. tim. tams.

I LIE! :
no. more. tim. tams.

because
a) they make you sleepy
b) your hips woman! save your hips!
c) THE HIPS.

now get your ass to work. you have about 4 hours until you drop dead asleep. and goddamit you need to at least reach the 50% mark.

2005-05-28T17:17:00.000+10:00

i don't care for tom cruise, but, to paraphrase, tom cruise is batshit crazy.

also, more entertaining, tom cruise!oncrack attacking oprah.

and i can't stop laughing :P

outtake

2005-05-25T20:39:00.000+10:00

HAHA im sorry. but i had to post this.

when meng meets webcam :

ps. i meant to say 'IT'S PLASTIC RIGHT!?'. but obviously the incandescent ragejealousy mix was getting to me.

edit:

in lieu of my half-hearted commitment to finishing this essay before dawn, i never thought crying could be so funny.
its hilarious, and i dont know why.
perplexing :/

why 60%?

2005-05-25T16:33:00.000+10:00

2400 words in 6 hours and DAMMIT im allowed to live in a pig sty.

people on msn, periodically check in during 2-7 am (if you will) to see if i haven't imploded.

also, for the portrait, do you think its a good idea to just keep writing 'MOO MOO MOO MOO' all over it?

tempting.

ASAP

2005-05-24T17:00:00.000+10:00

because i dont know. so i thought you'd know.

what are my favourite lyrics?

seriously! lol need to finish an *checks assignment* 'autobiographicaly portrait'
so what it means is that you just write words in the background which stands for an autobiography.

but im too lazy to do one and besides, the one i would write would be too quirky.
in any case lyrics are much easier.

so, HELP!
muchos gracias.

edit : just so you know what you're working with.

close up for detail. and yes, my eyes are too big, my nose is too small. i look like some 1950s vietnamese girl.
but it was fun :)
and non-intentional rhinoplasty dammit.

2005-05-23T23:50:00.000+10:00

*sigh*

hint : WISHLIST WISHLIST WISHLIST

id really like to know why im looking at camera reviews when im supposed to be working frantically.

newsflash!

2005-05-23T19:11:00.000+10:00

also, prince william is officially no longer hot.

i mean, its been coming a long time ever since he turned 18.. but uh. really. hairline. uncle looks. poor chap.
there are no words for harry.

tracker stats

2005-05-23T18:16:00.000+10:00

23 May, Mon, 17:36:34 Google: LJ fip lainie

O_o;; someone's obsessive.
wonder what they're looking for.

last night.

2005-05-22T18:36:00.000+10:00

i dreamt of the spice girls last night.
as a result, i woke up pretty early this morning.
the horror, victoria and mel b were singing and they were doing some weird ass moving but not dancing V formation on a silver stage with green screen silver dome effects.
scary spice sans boob implants was the new leader and she was wearing a sparkly black halter top.
victoria had long hair and boob implants. as usual. wore something green.
geri.. i only remember cornea searing red hair and a larger than usual head.
mel c was.. i can't even bring myself to describe her. suffice to say she would look a lot better with hair colour actually found in nature.
emma was blonde and being blocked by the sheer size of geri's head.

so.
there is no point in this. its not even funny. its just mildly sweatdrop weird.
but at least when they reunite (apparently its true) and they release some cheap weird ass futuristic v formation dancing video i can point at you and laugh maniacally. and say, I FORESAW! I FORESAW! THE DESTINY OF THE SPICE GIRLS IS IN MY POWER!
and yes, i know all the names.
what? i was a fan. they had stage presence :P

2005-05-21T05:45:00.000+10:00

*sighs*

kri, ill take you up on that popping offer if you dont mind.

fucking assignment. why do i have to do it twice. call it what you like, its certainly not 'revisiting your philosophy' anymore than it is systematic and achingly boring torture. GAH.

2005-05-18T18:13:00.000+10:00

note to self :
do not experiment with baking.
period.
especially when it involves eggplant and tuna.

just. don't.

*sob* i now have a rather inedible baking tray of.. something.. to finish.

ladies and gentlemen, on your right...

2005-05-18T11:59:00.000+10:00

you will notice a tiny little ribbon. which is a big improvement over the huge ass, in your face provided by the poverty.org website kat used to have until she trashed her blogger html :P
(we still love you kat. and your html skills.)

in any case up to you.

and thanks for the song recs fip and mr/ms mystery!

(fip - i never pitched you as a mariah person heh)

open forum

2005-05-17T16:19:00.000+10:00

song recs!
in the comments please.

i promise ill try to dl and listen whatever i can get my hands on heh

ps. jessica simpson is banned (YES CK. ITS BECAUSE OF YOU.) ashlee, not so much.

2005-05-11T16:29:00.000+10:00

last day of prac. have to say, rather anti-climaxy because the crotch of a substitute teacher DIDNT LIKE THINGS NOT DONE HER WAY. i didnt even get to say bye properly to the kids because SHE HAD TO LEAVE SO SHE DISMISSED THEM. ITS NOT THAT HARD FOR A STUDENT TEACHER TO *DISMISS* KIDS YOU KNOW? THEY PRACTICALLY DO IT ON THEIR OWN.

eh. evil woman. so patronising. so, uncreative. so .. old?

anyhoo, yay, prac over.

Wanted

2005-05-08T22:39:00.000+10:00

was browsing monash marketplace in the 'wanted' category.

subject : looking for cute puppies
any breed... just drop me an email and quote me a price... i'm a very interested buyer... thanks thanks...

Replies to this ad:
have 1 maltese 8 months old its free for today only ( friday) Due to move apartment

What's your budget? You want them dead or alive?

:P JUST because the poster has a korean name.

gnaw

2005-05-08T00:56:00.000+10:00

DOCTORS in northern Thailand have removed almost three dozen fly maggots from a woman's nose, where they were eating their way towards her brain, a report said.
The 38-year-old pig farmer from the northwestern city of Chiang Mai is believed to be the first reported case in Thailand of maggots nesting in a human's nose, Tawee Thanuparprangsan of Nakhon Ping hospital told The Nation newspaper.

The 38-year-old woman visited the doctor in late March, complaining of excruciating pain in her left cheek.

"I checked her nasal cavity and found a lot of fly maggots there," Tawee told the paper.

The maggots had eaten so much of her nasal tissue that some of her cartilage was exposed, Tawee added.

He anesthetized the woman and during an operation removed 34 maggots from inside her nose.

okay so. HOW DOES ONE NOT NOTICE MAGGOTS EATING INTO HER OWN BRAIN??
and what does it feel like? i imagine its like wet, squirming noodles halfway up your nose

one may as well also wonder how big her nostrils are.

also from the same article :

Last week, the paper reported that an 84-year-old man on the southern resort isle of Phuket had 50 maggots removed from his ear, after he went to a hospital complaining of an itch.

He had scratched his ears so hard that they started bleeding, and doctors said that flies apparently had gotten inside and laid eggs.

Last week, the same hospital removed an eight-centimetre-long leech from throat of a 19-year-old man who had complained of a constant sore throat.

the insects in thailand are really gungho about turning thais in pod people aren't they?

pump.

2005-05-03T19:50:00.000+10:00

*claws face* do you know what i did this morning?

see, over here, school starts at 9. i take around 35-40 minutes (depending on how fast the beat is on whatever song happens to be playing on my muvo. i have since deleted all norah jones and sarah mclachlan songs off it.) and i also take about 30 minutes to wake up. and about an hour to make lunch, get ready, bla bla bla. so i basically need to leave the house about 8.10 at the latest.

phew.

soo i set my alarm clock 15 minutes fast (ok, i lied, i take 45 minutes to wake up) and it rings about 6.30(-.15) every morning. then i hit the snooze button and collapse back on the bed.

today, i wake up, i grab the alarm clock and hug it like a pillow. it is hard and square, but it shuts up. i fall asleep again waiting for the next ring.
but of course, im hugging the snooze button. meanwhile, my brain swears incoherently and shuts off again.

i fall asleep for what seems to me like 15 minutes and then i wake up and check only the minute hand. oh shit 7.30, need to get up. so i happily go about, procrastinating as much as possible. i leave the house at what i think is about 8.10.

and THEN im walking up to school and im thinking to myself, gee, its awfully quiet today. no schoolkids whizzing past me, no me glaring in jealous rage at the speed of their whirring wheels and my slow-moving surroundings, no familiar cars i curse for not being nice enough to stop and say, HEY i know you! you're that complete stranger that walks along this street every single day! come into my car! have some boost! hug my child! pet my Rufus!

then the thought hits me : well i can't be THAT late, can i? there's no reason why there's no one around?
pull back the sleeve of my jumper to reveaaaalll
9.30 fuckin am.

yea, like, feck. if you've ever complained about being ragged on at school for being late as a kid, TRUST ME when i say it is infitesimally worse to be late when you're the TEACHER.

YES. THE TEACHER IS GOING TO BE 45 MINUTES LATE FOR SCHOOL KIDDIES!

so then i practically marathon walk all the other 15 minutes there, although not quite fast enough to make little blurry cycle motions with my legs as you would see in sonic the hedgehog (yes, i did say sonic the hedgehog.), but close, and then i hide behind trees as i get to class so the kids outside having PE wont see me. i reach the class door, say my prayers andddd...
18 kids gape.
oh stop staring you little brats.
it didn't help that they were also receiving their 'perfect attendance for a week! monstrously well!' certificates and here comes ms./mrs./it's MISS because she's not married to one person yet! (this statement somewhat befuddles me..) loo!

needless to say i had some very smug smiles from the kids when i apologised for being late. le sigh.

teacher pointedly reminds me to get a better alarm clock when i start work when i leave. my excuse? *nervous laughter* ah well! you see! my alarm clock was an hour late SOMEHOW and uh, i guess the battery was dying! ha. ha. ha!

no, i didn't believe it either. i am a terrible liar. so you'll forgive me if i usually take the alternative road of tactlessness.
also screwed up my lessons for today. lol my teacher didn't say it, but she was definitely pissed at me today. hee.
well, could have been worse ey?

2005-04-26T21:54:00.000+10:00

uploaded some random junk. stills update.

2005-04-25T21:28:00.000+10:00

also, i just broke my nailclipper. with my toenail.

closeups.

a long rambly.

2005-04-25T19:43:00.000+10:00

met up with the girls on saturday. although unbeknownst (yes, i conveniently make up words) to me, i was meant to be there on friday.

anyway, in return they happily dumped me for andy warhol and junk. what does andy warhol have that i don't, girls? infamy? money? fame? marilyn monroe in 16 colours?
met up, then dropped by chinatown out of habit for lunch. yay dumplings. yay chilli bottles with blocked nozzles. yay squirting massive amounts of spiciness on the chiru!
chiru has forgiven me i hope :) she was walking around with arms smelling of peculiar odours for the rest of the day at any rate. dropped by lincraft for some puppet cloth and then was reminded by hooli that i stupidly didn't take measurements.
but he's stuck in uni he is. very naked. with fat yellow plasticine feet and rude tiny unattached hands.

chiru's house! chiru, with a dramatic sweep of her arm, proclaims that all my belongings should be OUTSIDE GODDAMMIT. i stomp. she screams. hooli slowly sneaks away. chiru declares there will be no blocks of salmon for our dining pleasure.
and... then.... i dont remember what happened in between, but suddenly there were all four of us in one bed. i think there was some loveless which i didn't watch and some knitting, and some sewing of beanbags.
anyhoo. i was complaining i was cold, lune was laughing at me, chiru was still screaming at me (for being cold this time, when everyone else was so hot) and hooli was declaring that she was unmovable. like a rock. or a lecturer in the heat of marking assignments.
you go hooli.

somewhere in between count olaf and knitting, we fell asleep. lune leaves us in the middle of the night for the relative safety of her own bed (i kick, hooli sleeps, and chiru likes banging her head against whatever's on either (wooden bookrack) side (lune's head) of her, apparently. plus, she sometimes moos in her sleep. i thought i was the cow. line up to join the club goat :P). i thought you loved us lune :( (also tq lune for the blanket loan :) my cold feet love you anyway.)

the next morning we take ages to get out of the house. chiru and hooli occupy themselves sewing up little beanbags of five stones/batu lima/i played it with six while i took a shower. rice is everywhere! i sew mine like a five year old (with the phrase of 'you sew like a buffalo' from my gracious 3rd grade teacher ringing in my head). chiru sewed a yellow satin one which slips a lot. everyone curses it. it then decides to spontaneously combust when i mention we can call it the 'yellow bastard' after sin city. more rice everywhere! was it something i said?
i challenge lune to a game. she is horrified at how big my hands are. wait till she looks closely at my feet.
we make pancakes with apples and chocolate chips. chiru does somemore screaming about how we will get burnt chocolate on her saucepan. hee *pinches chiru's cheeks* her screaming is so futile. i would have loved to try making donut pancakes though, chiru. next time :)
also, i flip pancakes rather expertly. in a saucepan no less.

dropped into greco's for a rather expensive lunch. but food was good and pizza with potato was interesting. forcetreated chiru to cake because she was whining the entire day about how i never do anything for her and how hooli always treats her to lunch and omg you FORGOT MY CDS!? *bitchslap*
i didn't realise we got married somewhere along the way. IM SORRY I FORGOT THE JOA CDS chiru my love! next time i promise ill try to remember :(

anyway, we were eating when in a fit (what else would you call it? its insanity.) of patriotism, we decide to sing negaraku (none of us remember it past the third line.), chant the rukun negara (again, nothing past the third line.), setia, and that song with 'puji dan syukur pada ilahi' in it. we top it off with the selangor state anthem (sorry chiru :P). there was a couple next to us who seemed to be on their first date or something because their conversation was peppered with a lot of awkward pauses and the girl had a huge grin. heh. anyway, they had us for amusement, the girl wasn't even trying to hide that she was staring outright.
i like her :).
it was hard to care either way when we had two superchocolateys, a cheesecake and a lone orange cake accompanied with marshmallows to struggle blissfully through. plus, there was some guy who looked like david beckham with the half ponytail directly in front of me through the window for me to look at. hee :)

hooli forgets some groceries so we made a little detour to chiru's house again. me and hooli dump our various loads. lune had already contributed to crown casino. wahah.
i offer a (RARE) hug to chiru. she refuses. i hug hooli instead. hooli returns the love. i stick my tongue out at you goat. also hug lune. who with hooli is wearing banana yellow! yellow makes me happy! mushrooms make me hyper :/
lune comments that i am huggy. jesus christ no.

hooli knits in the train O_o;;. sudden spike in conversation of the people around us about knitting and jumpers. ocassional 'i'd like to see you make something'. was thoroughly fascinated by knitting. i might take it up. when im 80 and won't notice the mismatched colours, holes, and knots ive missed. eh.

walked home in the dark. hello rena.

thanks for the weekend anyway girls :) twas fun. and we still didn't have that salmon.

2005-04-22T21:29:00.000+10:00

(ok so, i don't know if this post needs a SPOILER alert, but if you're into high flying indo-australis drug drama and you haven't caught the news of the verdict, then i suppose, yes. you have been warned.)

the kids went off to their music specialist lesson but their regular music teacher just retired, so I got a smarmy stripey shirted English/Australian breed who just would NOT talk to me. ass.
anyway, he was playing some music for the kids when two of the year 6s popped into the music room and delivered the teacher's papers. The Herald Sun headline was about the Schapelle Corby case, 'DIE IN JAIL'.

Smarms : OH! What did Princess Di do that was so horrible!?

year 6 : *looks horribly startled*

Smarms : Read the headline for me, what does it say?

year 6 : *blinkblink* uhh.. it's about this woman who got drugs put in her bag and they're going to shoot her in jail until she dies.

smarms : *looks slightly uncomfortable because the grade 1s are gaping* well no,
they're not going to SHOOT her in jail. it just means she's going to grow old and DIE in jail.

year 6 : but that's what it says!

smarms : no, i don't think they're going to shoot her.

year 6 : but she's innocent!

smarms : well, that's what she says. Thank you for the paper.

grade 1s : I READ/HEARD/WATCHED it on the news!

m : are they going to shoot her?

smarms : no, they are not going to shoot her, she will just be forever in jail.

j : *japanese anime-style wobbly eyes* what about her birthday?

smarms : no, i dont think she can come out for her birthday. She will just have to celebrate her birthdays in jail.

j : ....will the police celebrate it with her?

also had a new kid in school today. apparently she's been.. uh.. 'kidnapped' several times because her parents are in a custody battle. so the mum steals her, then her dad steals her back, and then mum steals her back again and so on. she actually had to get transferred to the school im at because she moved from another suburb half an hour away to frankston. so yea, she was sobbing and crying initially, but settled in quite nicely after a while.
but its ridiculous, you're adults, why must you put this poor kid through all this when you can just SETTLE IT?

although i suppose its better than a situation where neither parents want the child. its eh.

thursday

2005-04-20T21:43:00.000+10:00

oy vey.

anyway, did a literacy (which is a thinly veiled concept for.. i dont know, handwriting and sentence writing and ocassional book reading. in this class at least) lesson. the kids were instructed (MWAHAH) to write a sentence with 'My favourite game is... I like it because ...' and that whole pile of drivel.

because im such a pushover, the kids ask me for help with spelling and such. one kid, whom i nicknamed jonathan taylor thomas (you mean, you actually remember him!?) for facial reasons, asks me how to spell 'by'.

JTT : *has written 'I like p Poison Ball because you get het bity the ball'*
note : i got LOADS of this. what's with boys and balls? :)
miss loo : Now have a look here (bity) JTT (snark). Can you read what you just wrote?
JTT : It's by, but I know I've wrote it wrong.
miss loo : So how might you change it?
JTT : B-U-Y.
miss loo : Well yes, that's the correct spelling for buy, but what we want here is the other 'by' word with only two letters, b-y.
JTT : *shakes head vigorously* can't. not 'llowed to do that.
miss loo : *blinks* and why not? It's the correct spelling.
JTT : Because it's b-u-y.
miss loo : No, for this sentence, we need it to be b-y because we're not buying anything. We're getting hit BY something (it's a terrible explanation i know. if anytone knows a better one, do share. i HATE answering questions on english structure. i don't even know what nouns are.)
JTT : *shakes head somemore* na, can't do that! not 'llowed to.
miss loo : Well why not JTT? It is correct, you read it in books.
JTT : yea, but you can only use it in books!
miss loo : O_o;;

was so tempted to give in to my inner 'IM DONE PLAYING NICE, CHILD. DO AS I SAY.' teacher. but i really couldn't because i couldn't think of a way to convince him without bloodshed.

sigh. the bity ball lives.

2005-04-17T22:46:00.000+10:00

i hate prac. i want it to die.

and it hasn't even started yet :(

want to wallow in my self-pity and not go (because really, who actually looks forward to the prospect of spending 3 weeks and two days with 23 seven-year olds?). but no, there's this niggling thing in my brain called a conscience. which is right next to the lobe of stoopid.

feckitall.

also, helped rena cook some.. strange nameless japanesey stuff + recognisable sushi rolls at james' place today with rena. felt like a chinese restaurant waitress (but that's because you know im like this prissy girl who doesn't like serving people) but i did it all, because i am a ho for salmon.

then rena decided to chop off her finger while cutting up zuchinni. heh.
(don't worry rena, most of it's still there.)

and its unbelievable the difference proper sushi vinegar makes.
or maybe it was the human flesh.

;_; why prac?